Malt magic
Today whilst rummaging in my mother’s cupboards, I found a forgotten packet of Malted Milk, the only known biscuit to depict an image using classical perspective. If you examine the scene, the cow on the left is not a smaller cow without any legs, it is actually a reclining cow in the background of the biscuit, whilst the larger standing cow grazes in the foreground. The technical concerns of such a scene are similar to those in the image below:
If only there were a biscuit artisan of talent and skill who could emboss this Renaissance relief sculpture onto a white chocolate-covered biscuit, it would certainly usurp Viscount as leader in the fine biscuit market. Although which/what is the most luxury of the biscuits these days? Is the reign of Viscount over, perhaps it could be the Viennese Whirl? Coincidentally, both names hint at a period in European history from the Baroque through to the Austro-Hungarian Empire, during which it would have been great to live in Vienna if you were a Viscount. As they both also begin with V, this is clearly an indication of refinement to biscuit connoisseurs. Vienna, Vichy, Venice, Viscount, Vampire – V time and time again proves itself to be one of the most elegant letters of the alphabet.
ExperiMENTAL group exhibition, Catalyst Arts Belfast Oct 2012. Photos courtesy of Jordan Hutchings and Catalyst Arts, Belfast
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‘Come and get me’ painting, Dublin Contemptibles ‘Gentrify This!’ exhibition, Sept 2012 .
Photo courtesy of Sean Rushe
